I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say

I watched the Brit Awards last night. I'm not really sure why. Although I like watching award shows, I get annoyed with the Brits usually. The awards either go to people I dislike or else it smacks of tokenism.

And bearing this in mind, it didn't disappoint. I was able to predict all of the winners, bar two. Should it really be this obvious?

The Brits always seem to be a step behind. It's like they suddenly realise "ooh, Elbow are a good worthy band, we'd best demonstrate that we realise this and give them best band". Now, this is perhaps an unfair example. I like Elbow (and have already said how I came to them fairly recently, so I am not pulling a "oh, I was there at the beginning") and was very pleased that they won. I think they deserve. But I am always deeply suspicious when the mainstream suddenly embrace something. It's the same as when they think "oh, someone's a bit kooky, let's honour them to show how hip we are".

And when they are not suddenly deciding to honour someone who had previously not crossed their radar, they pick on an artist that they have decided is worthy and pile multiple awards on them. They did it with Blur, they did it, inexplicably, with the Darkness (and how embarrassed must they be about that now), and they did it last night with Duffy. I neither like nor dislike Duffy - I find her voice a bit grating, but she seems nice and talented enough. And again, I'm not really saying that she shouldn't have won. But it all just seemed so obvious. Perhaps that is the way it should be tho'. The prize is for the best example of the category, not for the least obvious. And maybe it's just that I don't really like most of the music that is nominated. Still, at least they manage to be sensible about the awards they have to give, unlike the Grammys who seem to have a category for every imaginable genre and sub genre. I know that it can seem like an impossible task to compare wildly disparate genres, but I would hate to see us go down the "best vocal performance of a rock song with a middle eight, written on a Friday by a man named Keith, and performed by a female with blonde hair and blue eyes" route.

But I think what annoys me most of all is the ceremony, and here is where they could learn from the Grammys. Don't have the public there. Last night's ceremony was hosted by James Corden and Matthew Horne (and Kylie Minouge), and by and large they did a good job I thought. But lots of the jokes that they made were just lost and drowned out by the shrieking and screaming of the public who were at the ceremony and consequently ended up falling flat, with awkward silences. Get rid of them I say. What's wrong with just having an awards ceremony with the people who have been nominated there, plus others in the same field? It would also cut out some of the embarrassing attempts by some of the people presenting awards to "talk to the people".

And don't get me started about how out of tune Girls Aloud were. Annoyingly, that stupid song was stuck in my head all day.

Oh I did love for you and what did you do for me

OK, so my final count was 84. Not exactly a huge total. Less than ten per cent of the total books. So, are there any conclusions for me to draw?

Well, of course, the whole thing is pretty arbitrary and you could probably ask another group of people to make up a list of 1000 Novels You Should Read and you would get 1000 totally different books (well, maybe not 1000, but there would still be a big difference). But I've realised a few things.

I haven't read a lot of the books that English graduates are supposed to have. I've read no Austen at all, for example. And only one Dickens.

I have no problem at all starting a book but not finishing it. This I think is a good thing or at least not necessarily a bad thing.

I really ought to read some William Faulkner.

I don't read a book straightaway. Some of the books that are still on my shelves have been there for years. I have to be in the mood to read a book.

I am stagnating to a certain extent in my reading habits.

So, an interesting exercise. And it has energised me to read some of the books that have been on my shelves. Plus, I am going to work on my list of books that I think people ought to read. Not 1000. Perhaps I'll be a little less ambitious and work on 50.

And I came a long way before I came across the sea

OK, it's time for the last category in the Guardian 1000 Novels Everyone Should Must Read, as I chase the 100 books (quite why I am not sure. It would only be a tenth of the books on the actual list, which is pretty shoddy anyway).

So, State of the Nation it is...

Read
Albert Camus - The Plague
Thomas Hardy - The Mayor of Casterbridge
Alan Paton - Cry, The Beloved Country
Zadie Smith - White Teeth
Theodore Fontane - Effi Briest
Irvine Welsh - Trainspotting

Books I Am Supposed To Have Read
George Eliot - Middlemarch
Johnathan Frantzen - The Corrections
Barry Hines - A Kestrel For A Knave


Still on Shelves
Alasdair Gray - Lanark

Of these books, I'm picking The Plague and Trainspotting for my list. And I now have a grand total of 84. It doesn't really seem so grand does it, for someone with a degree in Language and Literature.

Conclusions to follow in due course

Why make the past your sacred cow?

It seems every single band from days of yore are reforming - some more successfully than others. None of them have been "my bands", so I've been able to keep my opinion that it is a bad idea pretty much intact (and I'm probably lucky because any of the bands that I loved who have split are really unlikely to ever get back together - I can't see George Michael reforming Wham! and it would really take something special for Nirvana to get back together again).

And it is a bad idea I think. Let sleeping dogs lie and all those other cliches. What makes a band so special has a lot to do with the moment - who you were at the time, who you were with, and what you were doing. Now fine if they carry on making records with you - they are evolving, you are evolving with them. But once they've actually split, I think that should be it. It's sad, yes, but there you have it.

Morrissey agrees with me, as does Bernard Butler thank goodness. Now, I was never a particularly big Smiths fan - I was maybe just a bit too young to get into them when they first started. But it would really shatter their myth if they got back together. I loved Suede, and it is one of my musical regrets that I never got to see them play with Bernard Butler, but I wouldn't want to see them reform. It just wouldn't seem right seeing Brett singing "She's a lovely little number" now. I do disagree about nostalgia though, at least to a certain extent. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, so long as it is not the be all and end all. And if you don't indulge in it a little, then are going to miss out. I was born after the Beatles split, so unless I dabbled in a little bit of nostalgia, then I don't get to experience it. And there is something extremely cute about seeing a kid in the "Flower Sniffing, Kitty Petting..." Nirvana t-shirt, who wouldn't even have been born when Nevermind came out. OK, maybe not quite what Bernard Butler had in mind (I'm sure that it isn't), but it demonstrates that it can be a good thing.

Even bands that I never got to see, who I would have loved to. Adam and the Ants, The Teardrop Explodes, Abba... I just don't have that much interest (which is just as well, since it is pretty unlikely that any of these bands will be reforming). Which is why the whole 80s revival tour doesn't appeal. Some of the bands I thought were great at the time, but since I didn't go and see them then, why would I want to now? There are a couple of apparent exceptions. I saw the Human League live about 3 years ago, and I have been to see Duran Duran quite a few times during the last few years. However, and herein lies the point, neither of these bands have split up, or stopped recording. They may not have the original line-ups, but they have continued to release material. And that's the crucial difference for me.

There's quite a baying for the Stone Roses to reform, and I really hope they never do. I saw them live in 1990, and while I don't quite agree they were the deities that some people seem to think, it was quite an experience - they were at the height of their powers. And that's how they should be remembered.

So put them on the stereo, remember where you were when you first heard them, even dance a little. In fact, dance a lot. But don't wish they'd reform.

Oh I said that’s a clichéd phrase and anyway I like it when the rain goes

Right, Sci Fi and Fantasy next, probably my least favourite genre of all time. Here goes nothing.


Read
Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory
Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Orange
William Golding - Lord of the Flies
James Hogg - Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner
JK Rowling - Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
George Orwell - Nineteen Eighty Four

Still on Shelves
Michel Houellebecq - Atomised
Mary Shelley - Frankenstein
Bram Stoker - Dracula
Robert Louis Stevenson - The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Book I Started But Put Down Pretty Quickly
Douglas Adams - The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Special Mentions
Daniel Keyes - Flowers for Algernon
Francois Rabelais - Gargantua and Pantagruel
CS Lewis - The Chronicles of Narnia


Well, it could have been worse. It is obvious from the list I think that I veer towards the non-spaceships/non-hobbits/non-magical quest side of the genre (Harry Potter aside, but to me the series is classic boarding school romp, with a bit of magic thrown in, and I mean that as a compliment). The fact that I picked up the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, and got bored with it as soon as the world ended probably sums up my feelings about this genre quite succinctly. As far as the special mentions go, I read the short story version of Flowers For Algernon; I have read Gargantua, but not Pantagruel, and the only one of the Chronicles of Narnia that I managed to finish was The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, which I read about 8 times while on holiday in Portugal (the only other book I had taken with me was, rather inexplicably, The Blue Peter Book of Limericks). However, I think putting a whole series of books on the list is cheating. Which leads me to His Dark Materials, which is on the Guardian's list. I only got three-quarters of the way through Northern Lights, which meant I didn't even think it really warranted a special mention, except to say that I am the only person I know who doesn't like it.

Any of these books make my own list? Well, possibly Private Memoirs and Confessions of A Justified Sinner, as it really is a wonderful book, and this list reminded me of its very existence.

So the running total is 78, with only one category to go.

The howl of the wolf Snow in his eyes

I'm pretty bah humbug about snow, really. In spite of my earlier post with the picture of the wedding-cake table, I can't really be bothered with snow. Yes, it's pretty, yes it can be romantic if you are in the video for Last Christmas, but once you get past the age of 10, it just becomes a huge pain, because you need to go places and get things done. I used to hate having to run the gauntlet of primary school kids when I was a teenager, because they'd just pelt you with snowballs and being female I can't throw them back, because I throw like a girl (I am all for feminism, but sometimes you just have to face facts). And now that I'm all grown up, I hate having to go anywhere in the snow.

And I've even been all sneering at the people over this mythical age of 10 who have been building snowmen in their lunch hour. Until I saw the picture you see to your right. That is awesome. That takes commitment. I salute you, snow polar bear makers (I think that's what it is).

Everyone's a winner, baby, that's no lie

I've just finished watching the BAFTAS on TV. I started off with the Red Carpet show (although was kind of disgusted with myself for wanting to watch it). Claudia Winkleman was hosting it, and I love her. I think she is very smart, very funny and supremely irreverent. But I fear she was perhaps a little bit too irreverent. While I think it was a genius idea to get schoolkids to write in with questions to act, I am not sure some of the celebs really got it. And then she said to Penelope Cruz that she wanted to smell her hair....

And you know, I hate when they tell you who they are wearing. It really does wind me up. I would love one of them to say "well, I'm wearing vintage H&M". Or "this is Per Una".

And if I hear one more person saying "oh I'm just really honoured to be here"...

What struck me about the ceremony was that I really have hardly seen any of the films at all (if you ask me FSM was robbed, although they did at least show a clip). Except for the Reader. I think that's it. Still didn't stop me enjoying the whole ceremony, and having opinions. I've been saying to friends of mine since the The Dark Knight was released that Heath Ledger was a shoo-in for most of the awards. Now, I have to say that I haven't seen the film yet, and I also have to say that most of my friends who have seen it tell me that he is very good. I don't doubt it for one minute. And I am not saying that he wouldn't have been nominated in any case. But would be have won? I'm not so sure... We'll see.

The ceremony made for good viewing. I particularly enjoyed Jason Isaacs saying "Good to see you back where you belong" to Johnathan Ross, whose own comment about Mickey Rourke's swearing was priceless (the Oscar chiefs must be terrified at the prospect of him making a winner's speech) . And Mick Jagger also really made me laugh with this whole "Rock-Star-Actor Exchange Programme" joke, especially when he made the crack about Brad Pitt and family going on stage at the Von Trapp Family. Just as he way saying it, the picture cut to him and Angelina and he leaned towards her laughing and said something. Sadly my lip-reading skills are pretty much non-existent. but I would love it if he has said something like "You know honey. We could...."

Well you said I tend to spend my life chasing rainbows

So the next chapter in the Guardian Books saga is love.

Read
Joaquim Maria Achado de Assis - Don Casmurro
Charlotte Bronte - Villette
Emily Bronte - Wuthering Heights
George Eliot - The Mill on the Floss
F Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
Ford Maddox Ford - The Good Soldier
Lewis Grassic Gibbon - Sunset Song
Thomas Hardy - Far From The Madding Crowd
Thomas Hardy - Tess of he D'Urbervilles
Nathaniel Hawthorne - THe Scarlet Letter
Pierre-Ambrose-Francois Chodorlos de Laclos - Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Love In The Time of Cholera
Ian McEwan - Atonement
Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita
Bernard Schlink - The Reader
Anne Tyler - The Accidental Tourist

Still On Shelves
Gustav Flaubert - Madame Bovary
Paul Gallico - The Snow Goose
Milan Kundera - The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Surprisingly, well at least to me, there are none on this list that I started but didn't finish, or was supposed to read but couldn't be bothered. There are quite a few on the list that I probably should have read. It seems strange to me that I haven't read any Austen, for example....

I think for my own list of must-read books, I'd choose The Great Gatsby and that's it.

In any case, I make my running total 72, and there are 2 categories left. I don't think I am going to make it to the 100....

Who wants love Without the looks

So, continuing my trek through the Guardian's list, next category is Family and Self. If it means what I think it means, I could score highly-ish, although I doubt anything will come close to my crime figure. But before I start, I forgot to pick out those from my crime list that I would add to my own list of essential books would be Brighton Rock, The Secret History, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd and LA Confidential. Much as I love Sara Paretsky, I don't think either of those would be one that I would choose.

Anyway, on to Family and Self.

Read
Louisa May Alcott - Little Women
Kate Atkinson - Behind the Scenes at the Museum
Iain Banks - The Crow Road
Lynne Reid Banks - The L-Shaped Room
Charles Dickens - Great Expectations
Jeffrey Eugenides - Middlesex
Graham Greene - The Power and the Glory
John Irving - A Prayer For Owen Meany
Bernard Malamud - The Assistant
Sue Townsend - The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 and 3/4
Alan Warner - Morven Callar
Oscar Wilde - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Albert Camus - The Outsider
Sylvia Plath - The Bell Jar
JD Salinger - The Catcher In The Rye



Still On Shelves
William Faulkner - As I Lay Dying
William Faulkner - The Sound and the Fury
Laurie Lee - Cider With Rosie

Books I Am Supposed To Have Read
Arundhati Roy - The God of Small Things

So, that is 15 read, bringing my total to 56. This particular category actually includes my favourite book of all time, The Outsider, so that goes on my on essential list. Others? Well, probably Middlesex, the Power and the Glory and The Crow Road.

I wonder if I am going to make 100...

He looks so dreamy, I'm in love from afar When I'm picking up a fallen star

Number six of an occasional series.

At the beginning of the 1990s, I discovered an album called Bellybutton by a band called Jellyfish, and a love affair was born. Most of the bands they were influenced by I didn't like particularly (although, whisper it, I've come to appreciate them since), but there was something about them which just enthralled me. Was it the fact that they had a stand up drummer who also sang (that's like doing 3 things at once), or was it their luscious harmonies? Was it their fabulously clever lyrics or their love of bright colours? Who knows, but love them I did, and still do (in fact, their 4 CD box set of rarities called Fan Club was the first thing I was ever brave enough to buy online, all the way from the USA, no less).

There are so many of their songs that I could choose, and the chances of another appearing in this series is pretty high. But, I'll kick off with Joining A Fan Club, which is on their second album Spilt Milk. It's unashamed power rock/pop, about the perils of falling in love with pop stars. And it's just fabulous. I think the reason I love it is perhaps because I can relate to the lyrics, particularly the one that is the title of the post...

If you've never checked them out, I urge you to. Sadly missed.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

We got snow today! Quite a lot of it. In fact, London seemed to grind to a halt. My friend took a picture of her garden furniture. Her table looked like a wedding cake.

However, it is also Groundhog Day today, and this was very relevant. My friend Phil and I sat down to do a DVD interactive quiz (cos that's how we roll on a Monday night). There are 10 possible categories of rounds (including subjects such as Pop Music, Film, The Arts, Science, Geography) and you get any 5 of those for your quiz. What did we get? 5 History rounds, with some of the same questions repeated.

I am beginning to understand how Bill Murray felt.

I've seen it in your eyes And I've read it in books

OK, round three, and this could and should be a biggie. Crime. I read a lot of crime fiction. Tons in fact. Although not all of it would probably be construed as literary. So, maybe I won't do as well as I think.

Anyway, here goes.

Read
John Buchan - The Thirty Nine Steps
Patricia Cornwell - Postmortem
Brett Easton Ellis - American Psycho
Ian Fleming - Casino Royale
Ian Fleming - Goldfinger
Ian Fleming - You Only Live Twice
Graham Greene - Brighton Rock
Stephen King - Misery
Johnathan Lethem - Motherless Brooklyn
Walter Mosely - Devil In A Blue Dress
Sara Paretksy - Toxic Shock
Sara Paretksy - Blacklist
John Steinbeck - Of Mice And Men
Donna Tartt - The Secret History
Jim Thompson - The Getaway
Agatha Christie - And Then There Were None
Agatha Christie - The Mysterious Affair At Styles
Agatha Christie - The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
Agatha Christie - The Secret Adversary
Agatha Christie - The Murder At The Vicarage
Arthur Conan Doyle - The Study In Scarlet
Arthur Conan Doyle - The Hound of the Baskervilles
Michael Dibdin - Ratking
Michael Dibdin - Vendetta
Michael Dibdin - Dirty Tricks
James Ellroy - LA Confidential
James Ellroy - The Big Nowhere

Still On Shelves
Wilkie Collins - The Woman In White
Wilkie Collins - Moonstone
Umberto Eco - The Name of the Rose
Frederick Forsyth - The Day of the Jackal
Dashiell Hammet - The Glass Key
Partricia Highsmith - Strangers on a Train
Graham Greene - The Ministry of Fear
Harper Lee - To Kill A Mockingbird

Books I Started And Got Most Of The Way Through But Just Could Not Get To The End
Peter Hoeg - Miss Smilla's Feeling For Snow

So quite a lot read in crime then. However, there are still some oddities. I am a huge Christie fan, but cannot fathom why they chose The Secret Adversary. And why on earth was The Black Dahlia not on there (I agree with the other two Ellroys, but it seems an odd omission). And to only choose one Jim Thompson is just criminal. There are so many to choose from and the man is a genius. Still, I am glad to see that Sara Paretsky made the list. She is probably the only contemporary writer today in the genre whose new books I genuinely look forward to reading.

27 crime novels in total, taking me up to 41.