Come come drink some port wine with me

My friend Paul enjoys drinking in a nice pub. But he has rules about where he will drink.

1. He won't drink in any pub called The Red Lion.
2. He won't drink in any pub that is painted yellow.
3. He won't drink in any pub that has a flat roof and looks like a 1970s community centre.

My thoughts?

1. I think he is being a little harsh here. I'm not sure that I have ever actually drunk in a pub called the Red Lion, in spite of it being the second (at least according to Wikipedia) most common pub name in the UK. I'm not really sure what his objection is here. But I bet a nice pint of Waggledance on a hot day would make him break his rule.

2. I am with him all the way on this one. Yellow pubs just seem wrong.

3. Absolutely agree. When I was a student, our local pub looked just like this. Did we ever enter? No chance. It looked scary enough from the outside and looked about as local as a pub could be. There is something about pubs like this which don't exactly make you feel like venturing in.

When he told me about his rules, it made me realise that I don't really have any of my own. There are things that you look for - good jukebox, decent selection of beers, staff who can manage to work out who has been standing at the bar for a while rather than serve the next pretty girl (if they are male) or pretty boy (if they are female). But I am not sure I have anything hard and fast enough to make me not go into a pub.

Unlike Paul.

My favourite pub in the world (at least so far visited) is the Usige Beatha on Woodlands Road, in Glasgow (see photo). It's lovely and welcoming and just a really nice place to drink. It isn't called the Red Lion and it doesn't look like a 1970s community centre. Neither is it painted yellow, although it does appear to be a little bit beige. I think Paul would like it fine.